Are You a Self-Aware and Connected Ministry Leader?
Mark Bair
Aug 05, 2026
You love God, you’re theologically rooted, and you work hard. But do your colleagues see you as a self-aware, connected leader?
When I started out as a Christian leader and for many years after, I knew the bible, but not myself. And I was more in love with teaching than people.
As a result, received critical feedback and reacted in a way that hurt people. And I was angry and hurt that I was perceived as hurtful. And I became increasingly anxious but was unable (and unwilling) to talk about it. I withdrew.
Scripture urges us to keep an eye on ourselves and to stay relationally connected:
Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching.
Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself
and your hearers.
(1 Timothy 4:16)
Let love be genuine… Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor.
(Romans 12:9, 10)
This post is a “big picture” answer to the question, “What is an aware and connected leader?” I will follow it in the coming weeks with deeper dives into the details.
What is an Aware and Connected Leader?
Rather than self-absorbed and aloof, an aware and connected leader is self-aware and able to stay personally and consistently engaged with team members, calm under pressure, able to resolve conflict, and deepen trust.
What is “Self-Awareness?”
Self-awareness involves more than knowing you are “stressed.” You might say that and still blame others for the stress.
Valuable self-awareness includes knowing what triggers strong emotions in you and how to self-regulate.
In addition, you need awareness of your weaknesses, as well as your strengths, and your underlying motivations for what you say and do.
Are you growing more aware of times when you are motivated only by self-interest, not also seeking what is helpful for others?
If you read the word of God honestly, you will be more self-aware and yet in awe of God:
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:12,13)
It’s scary at times to be “pierced” by the word, but the precious mercy of God makes such vulnerability less traumatic.
What is “Connection?”
Being connected is not simply a matter of spending time with and talking to our colleagues. It’s all too possible to spend lots of time together, doing a lot of talking, and still be disconnected.
People feel connected when they feel seen, noticed, respected, and understood. That takes being listened to, being identified with.
It also takes some self-revealing from the leader.
A connected leader notices when a person holds back. They will ask, “What do you think?” and listen curiously.
A connected leader invites feedback.
It’s easy to forget that “connected” is a mutual word.
It’s when you and the other people in your team feel seen, noticed, respected, and understood — not just you as the leader. Even though you have a position of authority, there should be a mutuality where the team members all have a chance to talk and voice their opinions. Of course, that’s not possible in every conversation, but it can be in many.
Sometimes, as leaders, we feel genuinely grateful that our team is so supportive, listens so well, and works so hard. But that does not always mean they feel connected. And they’re probably losing some ownership and drive in their work energy
Sometimes leaders are blind to the fact that some colleagues do not feel connected; they don’t “read” the team well.
We are never fully aware or connected. But we can make progress over time. Your team will thank you.
